Self-forgiveness? 11 friends' responses
I asked if they thought it was important & if they're good at it. Here's what they said.
In a companion post, I write about the need for self-forgiveness and building habits around it, to age with strength. To gather ideas, I sent 11 friends a text message asking this question:
Here’s how they responded. All agreed to allow me to use they’re responses anonymously.
Female, early 50s:
Male, early 40s:
Female, early 50s:
Male, mid-50s:
Female, late 40s:
Male, mid-40s:
Female, late 40s:
Male, late 50s:
Female, late 50s:
Two other women, one in her late 40s and the other in her early 50s, wanted to talk by phone instead of text.
Early 50s:
”To me it was one of the most rewarding parts of the maturing process and the most important part of moving forward from [my husband’s cancer-related] death. I had to forgive myself — I had so many responsibilities on my shoulders, and I have to forgive myself if I can't do them all.”
Late 40s:
“For me, at midlife, having gone through a really bitter divorce and seeing the repercussions it's had on my child, I see as a mistake my biological rush to have a child. The person I married had a heavy mental illness that I hadn’t recognized. I'm having to forgive myself and have compassion for myself for having rushed into that.”
“Self-forgiveness implies an ownership that you had a part in something that you're not proud of. I think it's a more empowering place to be than be a victim. A friend once told me, ‘Victims don't heal.’ I don't ever want to be a victim.”