As one in recovery, I enjoy social gatherings sober far more than when I relied on alcohol to make me feel comfortable. I now realize that having a drink to relax in social settings only served to perpetuate the underlying mental and emotional deficits that underlie such anxiety. Having a drink to relax seems harmless but you are using a toxic substance to change your mental state — which is not only bad for your physical health but creates a pattern of avoidant behavior. Humans have long engaged in such behavior with mind-altering substances (and food) because it seems easier than dealing with the things that make us uncomfortable in the first place.
Believe me, I get why drinking can be enjoyable. But there are many cultures and communities in which people gather in ease and have fun without depending on a lubricant. It’s unfortunate that we laud “social drinking” as natural or normal. Vino is not veritas.
Attractive Nuisance, thanks for your comment and sharing your perspective on not drinking. You are certainly heard and, metaphorically speaking, seen, by me and others, no doubt. My social drinking was/is more of a mini-turbo boost to the enjoyment I anticipated having at social events. And I've now entered the sober-curious window of my journey away from alcohol (it's long and slow), because I suspect exactly what you affirmed: I'll probably enjoy myself at social events more without drinking those 1 or 2 (or sometimes 3) cocktails.
You mentioned alcohol as an example of "using a toxic substance to change your mental state." After I took a week off alcohol to start the new year, I turned to chips. Two bags of them. In one night. Because, damnit, I need some kind of toxic substance to feel good!
I jest, and felt suitably ridiculous the following morning, but baby steps....
I learned a lot about alcohol through Annie Grace’s book “This Naked Mind”, once I understood what it is (Ethanol) and what it does to the brain and body it made it easier to stop drinking at 66 years old. Everyone needs to make their own decision, and it is hard to do with all the promotion and social pressure to drink. It’s no different than smoking was for our parent’s generation.
Barry, thank you. I wondered while researching this post whether my kid's generation, or maybe her kid's, will view casual drinking as we now view casual smoking: idiotically unhealthy.
I would come home after work in upstate NY and drink alone. One night I said to myself: “Can I go without this glass of wine?” I didn’t know the answer. That scared me to stop. Hopeful to think that I may have saved some life years as a result.
Theola, thank you. I would often tell myself in the mornings and afternoons that, that evening, "just don't drink." Then 9 PM would roll around, my daughter asleep, and the urge to put a giant ice cube in a glass and cover it with whiskey was pretty strong. This was habitual drinking, and it had momentum. Not the kind I wanted, obviously. Eventually I learned the trick of forcing myself to wait 30 minutes, and boil some water for tea in the meantime. That eventually worked, and I made a rule of no drinking on school nights. After a couple weeks, the urge toward the drinking habit faded.
Great discussion and after decades of daily alcohol I have been on a tapering journey of less daily alcohol in 2022 and a weekly drink in 2023 and a mostly dry 2024 except for buying a house and my ex husband coming to see it….i got curious in 2024 after a six week dry January what it would be like to have six months with no alcohol and I did! I went to lots of things where I used to would have been drinking including parties and conference banquets and work dinners and work travel alone and each time I found myself without drinking I felt prouder and I enjoyed these events! Also after decades of being awake from 2-4 in the morning, I began sleeping through the night! You don’t mention sleep but my experience correlates with research that even one or two drinks impacts your sleep. I have been enjoying virgin Bloody Mary and other mock tails that make you look totally normal like you are participating in all the social rituals! People keep asking me if I’ve lost weight and I think even the low amount of drinking I was doing in 2023 was causing my body to retain water and look puffier. I’m currently pleasantly curious what it would be like to be free of alcohol for all of 2025. I love a nice glass of Sauvignon Blanc but I also find if I look closely I enjoy these events first two ounces the most and I’m not positive I would still enjoy it at all right now……so we’ll see it’s not a death grip kind of oath but not sure why I would need to be drinking again…..
Rachel, some great ideas in your post. Cutting out or cutting down on drinking after dinner has improved my sleep and ability to spring to life in the morning...even after not getting enough sleep. Also, the idea of those "first two ounces" being the real desire. And finally, I really like the balance inherent to your thought at the end of your note that your abstinence isn't an unbreakable oath but a choice you made, and are happy to have made.
100% hear you on the positive effects not drinking has on sleep—especially for women of a certain age. Participating in Dry January has been fairly revelatory for me, and the ability to sleep through those early morning witching hours has been at the top of the list.
I’m not sure I’m buying the studies. Remember, we’ve been down this road with coffee, chocolate, eggs, and milk. All of these things have been considered bad, and harmful. Only to find out that, eh, maybe not so much. I’m taking the news with a grain of salt.
If you choose not to drink, fine. If you cannot trust yourself to drink in moderation, also fine. No one should have to drink. But if you enjoy an occasional drink, at this point, I’d say go right ahead.
Also, I find it interesting that this comes at a time when most people are realizing that those vaccines - which are not really vaccines, seem to be triggering turbo cancers in young people. Again, I’m not sure I’m buying what they’re selling.
Teresa, thanks for your comment. I understand the whipsaw feelings that contradictory or incongruent research create. I had them, myself, earlier in life. The trajectory of the alcohol research is different. It's an evolution of science-based understanding of how alcohol impacts a person, rather than he said/she said battle among researchers.
Also, to have a firm basis to either believe or discount the studies, one has to read them. Not the media or university marketing department summaries of them, but the studies themselves. Takes longer, but you learn a lot about the size, duration and quality (or lack of it) of the research, and what the study author's say about its strengths or weaknesses. Could they be biased? Of course. But the additional data is fundamental to having an informed opinion.
I'm not sure what you meant by "vaccines which are not really vaccines" that are "triggering turbo cancers in young people." What data are you referring to?
Teresa, a vaccine is a medical treatment that helps your body's immune system recognize and fight disease. The Covid vaccines were vaccines, by any definition.
Also, there's no credible evidence of Covid vaccines causing so-called turbo cancers. To the contrary, Covid vaccines have been found to help people with cancer reduce the effects of Covid.
The turbo cancer claim you highlight appears to be yet another myth spread by non-credible sources on social media. Links that may be helpful to you:
As one in recovery, I enjoy social gatherings sober far more than when I relied on alcohol to make me feel comfortable. I now realize that having a drink to relax in social settings only served to perpetuate the underlying mental and emotional deficits that underlie such anxiety. Having a drink to relax seems harmless but you are using a toxic substance to change your mental state — which is not only bad for your physical health but creates a pattern of avoidant behavior. Humans have long engaged in such behavior with mind-altering substances (and food) because it seems easier than dealing with the things that make us uncomfortable in the first place.
Believe me, I get why drinking can be enjoyable. But there are many cultures and communities in which people gather in ease and have fun without depending on a lubricant. It’s unfortunate that we laud “social drinking” as natural or normal. Vino is not veritas.
Attractive Nuisance, thanks for your comment and sharing your perspective on not drinking. You are certainly heard and, metaphorically speaking, seen, by me and others, no doubt. My social drinking was/is more of a mini-turbo boost to the enjoyment I anticipated having at social events. And I've now entered the sober-curious window of my journey away from alcohol (it's long and slow), because I suspect exactly what you affirmed: I'll probably enjoy myself at social events more without drinking those 1 or 2 (or sometimes 3) cocktails.
You mentioned alcohol as an example of "using a toxic substance to change your mental state." After I took a week off alcohol to start the new year, I turned to chips. Two bags of them. In one night. Because, damnit, I need some kind of toxic substance to feel good!
I jest, and felt suitably ridiculous the following morning, but baby steps....
I learned a lot about alcohol through Annie Grace’s book “This Naked Mind”, once I understood what it is (Ethanol) and what it does to the brain and body it made it easier to stop drinking at 66 years old. Everyone needs to make their own decision, and it is hard to do with all the promotion and social pressure to drink. It’s no different than smoking was for our parent’s generation.
Barry, thank you. I wondered while researching this post whether my kid's generation, or maybe her kid's, will view casual drinking as we now view casual smoking: idiotically unhealthy.
Prompted by your comment, I did an AI-assisted search on whether hard workouts can mitigate the negative effects of regularly using alcohol. https://www.perplexity.ai/search/give-a-detailed-comprehensive-yfpECpG9R4eqoZUyXFd9pQ#2
I would come home after work in upstate NY and drink alone. One night I said to myself: “Can I go without this glass of wine?” I didn’t know the answer. That scared me to stop. Hopeful to think that I may have saved some life years as a result.
Theola, thank you. I would often tell myself in the mornings and afternoons that, that evening, "just don't drink." Then 9 PM would roll around, my daughter asleep, and the urge to put a giant ice cube in a glass and cover it with whiskey was pretty strong. This was habitual drinking, and it had momentum. Not the kind I wanted, obviously. Eventually I learned the trick of forcing myself to wait 30 minutes, and boil some water for tea in the meantime. That eventually worked, and I made a rule of no drinking on school nights. After a couple weeks, the urge toward the drinking habit faded.
The pause…is everything.
Great discussion and after decades of daily alcohol I have been on a tapering journey of less daily alcohol in 2022 and a weekly drink in 2023 and a mostly dry 2024 except for buying a house and my ex husband coming to see it….i got curious in 2024 after a six week dry January what it would be like to have six months with no alcohol and I did! I went to lots of things where I used to would have been drinking including parties and conference banquets and work dinners and work travel alone and each time I found myself without drinking I felt prouder and I enjoyed these events! Also after decades of being awake from 2-4 in the morning, I began sleeping through the night! You don’t mention sleep but my experience correlates with research that even one or two drinks impacts your sleep. I have been enjoying virgin Bloody Mary and other mock tails that make you look totally normal like you are participating in all the social rituals! People keep asking me if I’ve lost weight and I think even the low amount of drinking I was doing in 2023 was causing my body to retain water and look puffier. I’m currently pleasantly curious what it would be like to be free of alcohol for all of 2025. I love a nice glass of Sauvignon Blanc but I also find if I look closely I enjoy these events first two ounces the most and I’m not positive I would still enjoy it at all right now……so we’ll see it’s not a death grip kind of oath but not sure why I would need to be drinking again…..
Rachel, some great ideas in your post. Cutting out or cutting down on drinking after dinner has improved my sleep and ability to spring to life in the morning...even after not getting enough sleep. Also, the idea of those "first two ounces" being the real desire. And finally, I really like the balance inherent to your thought at the end of your note that your abstinence isn't an unbreakable oath but a choice you made, and are happy to have made.
100% hear you on the positive effects not drinking has on sleep—especially for women of a certain age. Participating in Dry January has been fairly revelatory for me, and the ability to sleep through those early morning witching hours has been at the top of the list.
I’m not sure I’m buying the studies. Remember, we’ve been down this road with coffee, chocolate, eggs, and milk. All of these things have been considered bad, and harmful. Only to find out that, eh, maybe not so much. I’m taking the news with a grain of salt.
If you choose not to drink, fine. If you cannot trust yourself to drink in moderation, also fine. No one should have to drink. But if you enjoy an occasional drink, at this point, I’d say go right ahead.
Also, I find it interesting that this comes at a time when most people are realizing that those vaccines - which are not really vaccines, seem to be triggering turbo cancers in young people. Again, I’m not sure I’m buying what they’re selling.
Let’s see how things go.
Teresa, thanks for your comment. I understand the whipsaw feelings that contradictory or incongruent research create. I had them, myself, earlier in life. The trajectory of the alcohol research is different. It's an evolution of science-based understanding of how alcohol impacts a person, rather than he said/she said battle among researchers.
Also, to have a firm basis to either believe or discount the studies, one has to read them. Not the media or university marketing department summaries of them, but the studies themselves. Takes longer, but you learn a lot about the size, duration and quality (or lack of it) of the research, and what the study author's say about its strengths or weaknesses. Could they be biased? Of course. But the additional data is fundamental to having an informed opinion.
I'm not sure what you meant by "vaccines which are not really vaccines" that are "triggering turbo cancers in young people." What data are you referring to?
The covid shots were and are, not vaccines, they are updated shots, like the flu is a shot, not a vaccine.
This is one of many studies out there about turbo cancers.
https://www.westonaprice.org/health-topics/turbo-cancer/#gsc.tab=0
Please look into both of these claims, see what you find on your own.
Cheers, Teresa
Teresa, a vaccine is a medical treatment that helps your body's immune system recognize and fight disease. The Covid vaccines were vaccines, by any definition.
Also, there's no credible evidence of Covid vaccines causing so-called turbo cancers. To the contrary, Covid vaccines have been found to help people with cancer reduce the effects of Covid.
The turbo cancer claim you highlight appears to be yet another myth spread by non-credible sources on social media. Links that may be helpful to you:
https://www.perplexity.ai/search/is-there-any-truth-fact-or-val-5nFgmsFaS9aEbqGY82aVUw#0
https://www.contagionlive.com/view/mrna-covid-19-vaccines-and-turbo-cancer-the-latest-myth-that-won-t-disappear
Also, I find the Weston A. Price foundation, which is the source of the link you shared, to be not trustworthy. I hope this is helpful.